I had awakened into the afterlife following my unexpected death on the floor of the deck at the front of the R.M.S Titanic. I knew I was dead, but I felt an unexplainable ease as to why my afterlife began just at the place my life had ended. I was laying on the floor of what seemed like some kind of heaven, hell or maybe just in between. I remembered exactly the moments before my death, face down on top of the water. My hair was frozen and my skin was as pale as the snow bedding in my childhood front lawn back in London. I gasped for my last breath before feeling the hypothermia eloping my body. 

I felt the urge to explore my surroundings in this newfound “heaven”. I walked slowly but still with ease as I gently glided

through the walkways of the top deck. The sun was

just rising above the clouds and I felt the warm sea

breeze brush through my silky brown hair. It was

then that I was startled by a sudden shutter behind

the nearby door. I had assumed I was alone, since this was my afterlife after all. 

I opened the door cautiously and saw a figure

standing towards the far end of the room viewing

the sun rise outside the large glass window.

The shutter must have been the figure opening the

window. I inched closer towards the figure,

anxiously awaiting their response. The figure was

a woman who spoke in peaceful voice, “Elizabeth

Meadows, I’m here to tell you why you are here.”

I walked towards the figure who still hadn’t turned

around. I could only see her perfect golden hair curls and her satin white dress.

 I stuttered in response, “Am I in Heaven or Hell? I know I’ve made some mistakes in my life but I’d say in general I’m a pretty good person.” The woman finally turned around to make eye contact with me as she chuckled “Heaven awaits you my dear, but you died so young and have yet to discover the true meanings of life.” She changed into a more serious tone as she continued to say, “You are in a place I call The Middle. The Middle is a spiritual waiting place with many other people who shared a similar experience of death with you.” I quickly interrupted, “So wait, you’re telling me that every single victim who died on April 15th, 1912 on the Titanic will be on this afterlife ship?”  The woman replied with a soft smile across her face, “No my dear, the only people on this ship are the people I have placed here in order to help you discover your own self-realization. The Middle is crafted to be just what it needs to be for you. You must come to your own sense of self-realization in order to discover what’s truly important in life. The goal of The Middle is for you to discover this by interacting with others who can relate to you and share similar struggles. I’ve placed you here in the afterlife Titanic in order for you to engage with the meaning of your death as well as connecting that with the meaning of life.” 
The woman grabbed my hand softly and gazed into my eyes as she said: “Don’t worry my dear, once you have discovered what truly matters in human life, you will be prepared and ready to enter the afterlife in Heaven.” Seconds after the woman said this, she vanished into thin air. I cried out to her “But wait, how do I find people to talk to? Help me. Please!” I waited and heard no response. Flustered and overwhelmed, I rushed out of the room and ran back onto the deck. My legs carried me like a cheetah as I sprinted across the ship’s deck. Tears were streaming down my face as my thoughts overpowered me. Why did I have to die so young? Why was life taken from me when I still had so much to offer the world? Why me? 
For a brief moment, I had a flashback of memories from time on Titanic. This flashback reminded me of everything I had lost. More specifically, I had lost a boy by the name of Matt Andrews. I’m fully convinced that Matt Andrews was the love of my life, even though my life had ended so abruptly. Matt and I had first met right at the front deck on

Titanic. For the first few days on Titanic before we

had met, I would watch him sit in the same spot

each morning on the far left of the deck and open

the same book The Scarlet Letter. I loved to read

often and found his choice of book quite interesting

as it didn’t seem like the man’s style. Matt appeared

to be quite rough around the edges from afar. He

wore the same ripped slacks each day with a black

button hat and a worn-out fishing coat. Matt didn’t

seem like he was the type to relax and enjoy a good

book, he seemed like an outdoorsman who needed constant stimulation and action. I oddly felt a desire to go talk to him but refrained from doing so. 
Soon enough, I finally met Matt Andrews, but not in the way I had hoped. I remember our first encounter vividly and fearfully. As I sat down on my favorite bench on the deck late into the night, I was in the midst of working on a story. I was completely in the zone of writing and unaware of my surroundings. I was approached suddenly from behind and was felt up and around my breasts. In an instant, I felt my mouth being covered with a cold and filthy hand. I tried to shuffle around and break

 free from this person who was grasping me. I was

able to make eye contact with this older man I had

never seen before and tried to bite his hand as he

covered my mouth. I noticed him start to unbuckle

his belt and unzip his pants. I had a disturbing

feeling that this man had planned to rape me that

night. In a split second, the man lost his balance and released his hand from my face and I screamed at the top of my lungs “HELP ME! PLEASE!” The man quickly placed his hand back over my mouth. I had hoped that someone had heard me when I had the chance. 
Just as the man began to attempt to rip my shirt off my body, I heard the shouting of a young man’s voice “Hey you! Get off of her!” The old man trembled, lifted me over his shoulder and began running in the other direction. I tried everything I could to break free from his grasp, but I didn’t have enough strength. I was able to lift my head up just enough to recognize the young man attempting to save me as he ran behind us, it was Matt. Matt tackled the old man and I to the ground and pushed the man off of me. I was sobbing in tears and fell into Matt’s arms. I watched the old man fearfully run away but still was shaking with terror. Matt pulled my hair away from my eyes and reassured me that everything was going to be okay and that the old man had been long gone at that point. Matt asked for my name and in return I asked for his in order to thank him for saving me. He walked with me back to my bench and noticed the large stack of papers containing my writing. He curiously looked through my story and promised me that he would read it one day. I had no idea that this moment of fear would lead to the start of something new and exciting in my life. 
This flashback had distracted me and I found myself run

right into another person alongside the back end of the deck.

I quickly scrambled out an apology, “I am so sorry! I was not

looking, it was not my intentions to-.” The man I had ran

into interrupted and said, “Not a problem Miss, nothing

matters anymore regardless. May I ask your name?” The man

seemed to be in his late 30’s or early 40’s who still had

perfectly sleeked black hair, a business suit and an attractive

bone structure.I spoke softly to the man and said, “Oh hi,

my name is Elizabeth, Elizabeth Meadows. Are you a real

person?Are you dead or alive?” He replied: “I am real and I am a

dead man, a man once worth a fortune and now worth nothing.” Confused, I responded and said: “What do you mean ‘worth nothing’?” 
The man sighed and said, “I supposed I could elaborate. You see, I was a dead man, floating among the rest of the R.M.S Titanic victims. I was just a body, decaying, just as the man floating next to me with nothing but a dollar to his name. Just before my death, I realized, my exquisite life as Eliot Harrison was no longer meaningful anymore. Now I don’t mean to boast, but I was about as rich as they come and grew up to become a successful businessman. I boarded the R.M.S Titanic to come back to America after traveling on business. I figured I would travel in style, given that I could afford to do so. I had read in the newspaper that Titanic was deemed ‘unsinkable’.”
 I chuckled back to the man in response “Unsinkable…and look where we are now Eliot.” Eliot smirked and shrugged his shoulders as he continued: “Well, I suppose the thought of boarding this ship and not making it back to the United States hadn’t even crossed my mind. I was an independent fellow, making my way through life with money as my goal. I had no one important to me that I valued or trusted.

I realized this when I gazed around during

the chaos of every passenger rushing to

board the lifeboats before they ran out.

I stood in silence and heard the screaming

of ‘women and children only’. I gestured towards the man who stood in front of the boats helping each woman with her children on board the life boats. I pulled out a couple hundred dollars out of my coat pocket and said: ‘I would be more than happy to make it worth your while if I can be the next man on board.’ The man gazed me down, head to toe. He chuckled slightly but I could still see the fear in his eyes beating like a drum. He looked me in the eyes and said: ‘Your money can’t save you and it can’t save me.’ It was then that I realized that no matter how rich I was,

I would die on that night just the same way as

every other man on board who couldn’t make it

on a lifeboat. I watched the fear of losing loved

ones all around me and realized I didn’t have

anyone to love or fear. In the end, I would sink

into the belly of the ocean just the same, my money didn’t save me. This was my death. This was Titanic.” 
I was taken back by the way Eliot spoke so raw and real about himself. Truly, I hadn’t realized how invaluable money is in the afterlife. Money has become a treasure so coveted that I had forgotten how meaningless it becomes when life ends. I was suddenly startled by the creaking of the wood boards as the woman from before approached me again. She turned towards Eliot and snapped her fingers. Just then, Eliot had vanished just as the woman did before. “Where did you send him?!” I exclaimed loudly to the woman. She replied, “Don’t fear, he was taken to heaven as his duty was to speak to you and nothing more.” Shortly after, the woman had vanished yet again. I found myself alone again and continued to walk down the walkways of the deck. I hummed softly to myself and watched the waves crash into each other below me. 
The cool breeze against my skin gave me such a happy feeling. I felt reminded of the happiest times I had experienced on Titanic with Matt. I remembered the moment when Matt and I first kissed.

I remembered when he would escort me into the ball room

and slowly dance with me even though I was awful at dancing. I remembered when he would lay with me in bed and put his

hands on me ever so gently. My first impression of Matt

became completely different once we had met. I always felt

safe and secure when I was with him. I always knew

everything would be okay when we were together. Not only

did Matt save me from being taken advantage of when we first met, but he eventually saved my happiness. 
As I continued to walk, I noticed another figure ahead of me. The figure was a young girl who looked upon the waves just as I was. I approached the girl slowly as I didn’t want to startle her. As I got closer, I greeted her warmly when she turned her head and saw me. “Hi, my name is Elizabeth Meadows. What’s your name?” The girl looked at me and replied: “My name is Clara Woods.” I replied: “Are you alive?” Clara gave me a subtle smile and inched closer to me as she said: “I woke up here just as you did. I died from drowning on the third-class floor. I couldn’t make it past the gates and the water flooded the entire floor too soon. I suppose I’m thankful for avoiding a slow and agonizing death, but it was quite painful.” I responded hesitantly, “Why are you here? Why did you board Titanic?” 
Clara paused for a moment and tilted her head back towards the water. The wind was vigorous at this point and her long

brown hair glided across her face. Clara began

to speak, even though she refused to turn her

head back towards me. “I grew up in Chicago,

Illinois and lived with my father. I worked 3 jobs

and ate cheap in order to avoid spending money.

I lived frugally just as my father and watched my

money grow in my bank account but still did nothing with it. I figured someday I would get the time off to travel and perhaps find a love life, but I just needed to be as productive as I could. After all, what was happiness without success?”
I interrupted Clara, “Well, you couldn’t afford to travel if you didn’t have the money. I dreamed of traveling the world but I couldn’t afford it and I had no ambition to follow through with it either.” It was then that I realized that Clara was another version of me. Just like Clara, I worked several jobs and stayed as reserved as I could. I craved exploration but fear often consumed me. 
Clara sighed as she continued to speak, “I boarded the R.M.S Titanic on my way back to Chicago from visiting mother who was spending a few months in London. My mom was concerned about the way I crammed my days with constant working rather than enjoyment. I continued to remind her that my work ethic should be admirable and not condemned. My mom suggested that I stay in London longer and explore all the sites there was to see.  I insisted that I should go back to America, I had responsibilities and couldn’t just throw them away for an impulsive need to explore. My mom then suggested that she should go back with me

to America on Titanic. She begged that it wasn’t

too late to purchase a ticket. I hesitated about her

proposal to join me, but she persisted. I knew my

mom was desperate to spend time with me, so I

agreed. Shortly after, we packed her bags and

scurried to the port and ran into the boat at the

last moment. At this time, I had no idea that boarding that ship would be the best and worst mistake of my life”
 Clara paused again and sighed. I could see the small tears run down her face. Although, Clara was still rather good at hiding the sadness in her heart as she spoke. “My mother and I had never been closer than we were on the Titanic. She convinced me to spend the evenings in the third-class dancing halls. The rooms were packed and stuffy but filled with life, music and unforgettable fun. I had laughed like I never had before as my mom skipped around the dancing hall with me by her side. We spent

each morning watching the sun rise with a fresh

baguette and freshly brewed cappuccino. There were

many moments on Titanic where I truly forgot the

responsibilities that awaited me in Chicago. For once

in my life, I felt myself enjoying the moment and

embracing the happiness. I never wanted this journey on Titanic to end, I prayed above that I could enjoy life this much every single day of my life. I realized then, what was the point of working so hard and saving so much money if I wasn’t going to spend it and enjoy the moment? I planned to quit my jobs when I got back to Chicago and take some time off to travel America with my mom by my side. This was just yesterday, only a few hours before Titanic sunk.” At this point, Clara wasn’t able to hide her sadness any longer. Streams of tears began to pour down her face. I reached closer to her with my arms open wide for a hug. I had felt her pain. Our deaths were certainly not easy to reflect back on. 
Clara continued to speak as she was sobbing, “I remember the moment of panic that struck me when I watched everyone scrambling from the third-class dining hall towards their rooms to grab their children and possessions. Nobody had realized yet that there were not enough lifeboats on board. If I only had known the lifeboats were scarce, I would have left all my possessions behind and ran immediately to the lifeboats. Sure enough, the on-ship officers closed off our only exit into making our way to the lifeboats. The officers appeared as if they were boarding the lifeboats by class rank which caused mad chaos in the third-class floor. The third-class men shouted and shoved themselves into my mom and me. We cried out and begged to the officers to let us up on the deck. In a split moment, my mom clenched my hand and whispered under her breath ‘Clara it’s okay, it will be okay’. After an hour or two of trying to push ourselves through the gates, we couldn’t take the crying, screaming and begging anymore. We watched the water start to pour in through the windows. Shortly after, the hall kept filling and filling the water up to our ankles.

My mom gave me a look I had never seen her give

me before. For once in my life, I saw fear in my

mom’s eyes. By this point, we both knew there was

no hope in survival and we made our way towards

our room. We both laid in bed together side by side

and squinted our eyes shut before the water blasted in through the window. This was my death. This was Titanic.” 
I was stunned by Clara’s story. It was incredible to see how her perspective changed to living in the moment and enjoying everything life had to offer. Both our lives were taken so quickly from us, I wish I had lived everyday like it was my last when I was given the chance. 
Suddenly, I was startled by a tap to my shoulder from the same woman with the curly blonde hair. The woman looked at Clara and said “Thank you. Your work here is done.” Yet again, the woman snapped her fingers and Clara had disappeared into thin air just like Eliot did. Listening to Clara’s story was touching and filled my heart with regret. As the woman started to walk away again I cried out to her “Why me?” The woman stopped in her tracks and didn’t turn around. I was incredibly hysterical and emotions began to pour out of me. “I was young. I was beautiful. I had my whole life ahead of me. I didn’t have enough time! I had finally been given something so good. I finally met the love of my life and the minute I met him we were stripped apart so suddenly. I don’t care about heaven and I don’t care about The Middle. I don’t care to know the meaning of life when I don’t even have a life to live anymore! I wish I never boarded Titanic!”
 Uncontrollably I sprinted towards the edge of the ship. I planned on jumping off the boat and into the water and not returning back to The Middle. I didn’t care to know what I was missing out on in life anymore, nothing mattered anymore. I threw off my shoes and stood on the ledge. My eyes were filled with so many tears that everything was blurry to me. I screamed out to the ocean as my throat crackled “WHY ME?” 
Suddenly, I heard the voice that I had been longing for. I heard the voice that warmed my soul and filled my heart with joy. I heard the voice of Matt. Matt had spoken harshly to me “Elizabeth, what do you think you are doing?” I didn’t have a second to think about what he had said, I was just consumed with excitement to see him and quickly jumped off the ledge and into his arms. Matt looked happy to see me but still looked somewhat concerned as he said, “My love, you are so close to discovering what’s most important in life and then you can join me in Heaven. Why are you giving up on yourself? You’re giving up on me.” 
I didn’t stop hugging Matt, I thought I would

never see him again. I finally replied to him,

“No my love, I would never give up on you.

I’m ready to go to heaven with you.” Matt

pulled me closer to him. His scratchy chin

rubbed against my forehead as he kissed it softly. “You’re not ready for Heaven yet Elizabeth. You haven’t comprehended the meaning of life yet.” I began to cry again, “Yes I have! I discovered that money doesn’t save you and to always do what makes you happy. What else could there possibly be?” Matt chuckled just as he had when he was reading his book the day we met. “My beautiful girl, do you know why I boarded the Titanic? I boarded Titanic with a desire to find something that filled the emptiness inside me that I was feeling. I had everything the world could offer, money, means to travel and freedom. However, I was always missing one thing. I was missing the love that you gave me. You filled that emptiness inside me with a whole new dimension of feeling. Loving you was a feeling I couldn’t fathom to ever explain.” 
I interrupted Matt quickly, “But why did we have to meet on the Titanic? Why did we have to reach our happiest moment with each other just to have it taken away from us?” Matt let go of me and gently began to guide me with his left arm still wrapped around me. “The universe has never provided us with a reason for why bad things happen to good people, but I fully believe that the universe brought us together so that I could be with you in our final moments. The minute that I saw you I knew that I would love you until the day I died, and unfortunately for us it was the near future. I remember when the ship split into two between us, I felt my heart splitting just as the ship was. I felt powerless that I couldn’t reach you. The ship divided us so suddenly-.” I interrupted Matt as I could tell he was becoming emotional about the moment before our death when the ship split right in the middle of us. We both had fallen right into the water and were completely separated. With reassurance, I looked up at Matt in response, “There was nothing neither of us could have done. Being with you up until our deaths allowed me to realize that love prevails all. Our love was so strong that we made it with each other in the afterlife. I will love you endlessly and forever Matthew Andrews, no matter dead or alive.” Just then, I felt the ship shaking below us. I felt the ship just the same as I did when we hit the ice burg. Before we knew it, we felt the ship sinking suddenly. We both looked at each other with the same fear in our eyes. I couldn’t imagine experience the horror of the sinking Titanic once more. 
Suddenly, the clouds above us gleamed and separated in a way that I had never seen before. In between the clouds,

a sharp light pointed towards Matt and I. Was this

Heaven? Was this the moment I had been waiting

for? Before I knew it, Matt and I were above the

clouds in an unexplainable place that I can’t fathom

to even begin describing. I was greeted by the same

woman with the beautiful golden curls. 
“Elizabeth Meadows, you have now discovered three most important notions in life: money is invaluable, true happiness is the key, and love prevails all. I kindly welcome you into the gates of Heaven for all of eternity.” I knew then the true purpose of life and the purpose of The Middle. I looked down upon the sky and watched the Titanic sink once more. Titanic provided an unbelievable amount of realization and opportunity for myself and many others. Titanic brought hope, yet also brought destruction. Through my death, I have discovered life. This was MY death. This was Titanic.